All Americans are suppose to want MORE for their children. More what? More STUFF! Bigger and better homes and cars and more material wealth. Well, I'm not buying it.
I have worked and lived in third world countries where I helped build adequate shelter, access potable water, and provide basic medical care for people whose children die in their arms from malaria, starvation, and disease.
However, it's not just people living overseas who suffer from extreme poverty. Two of our adopted children were hospitalized for starvation and dehydration prior to joining our family, and they are American-born children.
Here in America and around the world, poverty is all many people will ever know. That's why I want to live a simpler and more thoughtful life. The fact that I believe it's good for the soul is a wonderful bonus! One doesn't need to do anything as radical as what we're doing as a family, going six months without buying anything non-consumable. It can be as simple as giving up a daily latte or eating home instead of eating out. If we make do with less we will have more to GIVE. (The picture is of an infant we cared for in the Solomon Islands after Cyclone Namu in 1986.)
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This is a beautiful message. I agree wholeheartedly.
You have been through much, have seen much and anyone who has read U before would know where your heart is in this issue. Its all good. :)
More stuff...big deal. Live with less and be happier. We've been living this for a while now. Trying not to accumulate... For example, instead of going away to a huge vacation, we opt for a day away and we make it about being loving to each other, and we still have an amazing time, sans the costly luxuries.
Life is too short to weight yourself down with meaningles things. Collect joy instead.
xoxoxox
Hello, lovely Lyd. :)
I think we accumulate rather thoughtlessly because it's a part of our culture. If we take the time to really think about how we're living and spending we can do and be better. :)
I love your last two sentences. Amen and amen. ♥
May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and the exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.
May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn
their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
Amen.
Jay
Jay, It actually seems like YESTERDAY. I can't believe it's been that long ago.
I absolutely love the benediction. It's beautiful. I'm going to copy it and put it on the bulletin board next to my desk where I can see it often. :)
You're right, it's been a busy life. I don't feel middle aged. Where did the time go, my friend?
First the positive: What you are doing is good, not focusing on material things. It's true, "stuff" does not make us who we are. But what you said about forgetting hardship...
I will, and can NEVER forget when I struggled week to week, paycheck-to-paycheck. (roughly between 1987 to 1998) Most times all I had in my wallet was my bus pass and my ID. I had lost everything due to youthful reckless spending and partying. Yes, my fault, and I own up to that. I had to move in with my mom, and she was on SSI, which meant my mom, the once proud and semi-affluent teacher, was living below the poverty level. Put together, we still fell under the the poverty level, but hey, we made too much for any government assistance. Isn't that a kick?!?
But I made it, and today I have a good job, good life... Yes, Life is good. But I always have those hard times in the back of my mind. They shaped me, I think, into a better person. They made me kinder, gentler, more understanding of those in need and I dare say, helped me become more generous with what I have when I have extra. When I encounter the homeless, I do not see them as panhandlers. I see them as possibly Angels in disguise, because I was once right where they are.
You speak of the volunteer work you did and how you saw people with hardships. Now, I could be wrong, but didn't your volunteer organization meet your needs? Did you just witness the hardship, or did you live it? I am NOT taking away any from your good work - not one bit. But having lived paycheck to paycheck and not knowing if I even had enough for groceries, let alone any kind of luxury (such as a pizza), I can see where a person could read this and think you are playing. Especially if they are having a rough time.
Perception, KJ, it's all perception. No I don't think you should "apologize for encouraging people to make do with LESS so they have more to GIVE." And you have made it clear that your experiences of making do with less are NOT games. To you, this IS important. But Katy Jo, just remember that there are people out there that don't have anything to make less of with.
I guess my boss was right. He commented once that I rarely speak up but when I do it is about something I feel passionate about. I will return to my short comments but I just had to say this.
I am going to bed. After midnight here. :) Good night KJ!
You are right that you do not need to justify your intent with this blog, but the defense you put forward adds several layers of depth and emotion, building a framework for what is to follow. This defense more fully establishes your credibility.
Now that we have established you are a worthy messenger, let's get back to the message.
jc
JC -
I appreciate your thoughtful comment. I wish I had seen it prior to deleting my original response to Kev and note to my readers. I did so because I wanted to make a more succinct response and felt the conversation was detracting from the purpose and message of my blog.
As I noted in my original comment, the fact that I have adopted special needs children, born in America, who were hospitalized for starvation as infants and toddlers makes it rather difficult for me to forget that some people have nothing.
Many people would be grateful to have a paycheck by which to live, one after the other. I think most Americans have experienced that level of moderate need. In fact, many would define that as "plenty."
But, yes, let's get back to the message.
I do not feel a need to justify my intent with this blog series as I don't think one needs to have experienced need to want to help those who have. That being said, I will clarify that we lived with the people we served, not apart from them, eating what they ate, carrying water, working in the bush gardens to gather our food. We had no medical services beyond what was available to those we served.
Also, as I mentioned in the blog, my husband and I live with the reality of poverty in America as we have adopted children who were hospitalized for starvation and dehydration prior to joining our family.
I could delve further into the past, into what I have experienced apart from the needs of others, but I feel I have already drifted too far away from the focus and intent of this blog, which is not about me. It's about living simpler and more thoughtful lives.
I HAVE been shaped by my life experience, yes. It's what has motivated me to embrace this challenge. I identify with suffering and believe passionately like Gandhi that we need to BE the change we want to see. I probably fail as much as I succeed but I won't stop trying.
I appreciate your honestly in saying that you've experienced hardship, used to be poor, and yet have somehow "forgotten" that when it comes to your daily habits now. I'm happy to have pricked your conscience. :) Thank you for the comment, whoever you are. I understand your desire for anonymity.
I cannot even begin to imagine the hardships in which some people fight to live daily. I see it but having only my tough times to compare is no comparison. I know there are also other people who think my hardships are unimaginable. But to me they are daily life.
I went through a long period of time where I didn't have heat in my home. To some that alone is unimaginable. I learned to live that way. And I know there are poeople who have no choice at all they don't even have a roof over their heads let alone heat.
I have never taken my home for granted. But I do take much in life for granted and as times are getting tougher I am noticing more and more things that I do and have that I really don't need.
Am I thinking more and watching what I do more closely? Yes I am. Do I still want more? Yes I do. Do I think longer and in more depth about what I do buy? I will admit I am just beginning to.
We all learn to deal with what we have. Sometimes we go into excess and need to reel ourselves in.
Where I am not going nearly as far as you are in your challenge, I am looking more closely. You opened my eyes a bit wider with your first one week challenge, when I realized I had just bought that bottle of water on my way home where I have perfectly good drinking water. There went over a dollar for no reason at all.
But I think my first eye opener was when I was scratching off an instant lotterey ticket and thought I had won $20,000. The first thought that went through my head wasn't party it away or buy a new car (like it would have been even 3 short years ago) It was NEW ROOF, NEW FURNACE. LoL And yep I still occasionally blow a buck on a scratch off ticket. LoL ;) I find them fun and who knows I might get that new roof the easy way someday. (just picking on you there)
Love Ya,
Chickee
I read your comment and thought long and hard about whether or not to share a personal story with you, but first I want to say that I admire your attitude. You are a strong woman and your cheerfulness in the face of adversity always inspires me. I think that the majority of Americans would consider lack of heat and an inadequate roof to be true hardships, yet there are countless Americans who live that way, struggling to stay warm, and I'd venture to say that most of us are only peripherally aware of it at best.
The fact that you share that piece of your story then say that you are aware of your blessings and willing to look at your excess is wonderful! Yet with honesty you say that you want more AND THAT'S OKAY! I want you to have a new roof and an adequate heat too!
ANYWAY, I want to tell you that I can relate to your story. Reading it brought back the years we spent living in a tiny, gutted house that we were remodeling. When I say "remodeling" I don't mean that we were making it more luxurious. We were making it LIVABLE. One winter we had no heat because the oil furnace gave out and we couldn't afford to fix it. There was a gaping hole in the roof because we'd decided to raise it to add a second bedroom but ran out of money to finish the job. We had no furniture beyond a bed that our son shared with us. I remember watching the snow drift into our house and onto our bed... It was SO COLD. We had no toilet, just an outhouse in the backyard, and no kitchen, just a fridge and the water spigot in the bathtub.
My brother who was living in a gorgeous home on acreage in a wealthy community came by and said how we should be grateful for what we had. He didn't offer to help and showed no compassion. I remember wishing that he knew what it felt like to be so poor and have a child, so he could learn compassion and empathy. He said he knew what it was like to struggle as he'd bounced a check once. I was astounded. We bounced checks in order to live back then. Poverty robs people of their dignity and integrity.
The memory is very visceral. It hurts that nobody wanted help except for my dad who owned that house. He bought it so we earn "sweat equity," but eventually I think watching his grandson suffer became too much for him. He established an account at a lumber yard so we could get the supplies we needed. After 4 long years we had a tiny little house that was snug and warm.
People would say how tiny it was, how we must want desperately to move to a nicer place. I honestly didn't get it. We were so GRATEFUL for that house once it was snug and secure. We felt it was a palace. It was that experience that led us to sell everything we own and go work for Habitat for Humanity overseas.
My dad gave us that house, saying he only wanted what he'd put into it back out of it, no profit. Unfortunately, he died before the paperwork was finished & my brother tried to take the house away from us. In the end, we got a fraction of what we should have out of it. His callousness and greed changed me. I don't ever want to be like him.
Like I said, I thought long and hard about whether or not to tell this story, but I think it's an important one. It's not okay to sit snug and warm and surrounded by excess while other people suffer. If that's what excess turns people into, I want no part of it.
It would have been so easy for your brother to say "hey why don't you stay with me a while until we can get this fixed." But alas there are pople who will never SEE how easy it is to help someone.
As I finished reading your comment a memory from the past came flooding to the front of my mind and the tears that were already falling became tears of compassion for my parents.
It was a cold rainy night in the late fall of my childhood. I was snuggled in my bed sleeping when I was roused and terrified to find a big chunk of our roof had fallen onto my bed. Allowing the wind and rain inside. My parents rushed to me scooping me up and out of the rubble. My dad patched the ceiling with a piece of plywood that night, then patched the roof as best as he could the next day. I remember being scared to go to bed for awhile after that. I remember Mom making out that i had just had a little adventure. The memory faded for me and being such a small child I really didn't see the danger I had been in. Can you imagine how my Mom and Dad felt, the helplessness they must have felt.
It is that same tin roof I live under today. And if it weren't covered by snow right now I could go outside and see my Dad's tin patch.
My Mom sold me this house for $1 because she loves me. So a home with a leaky roof and more than it's sahre of problems is still full of memories good and bad, but mostly it's full of love. So every night when i climb into bed I am surrounded by the love of my parents. I never looked at it that way before. Thank you because now I do.
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