Unequivocal Kate

I can see you wrote this awhile back, but hopefull...

2010-03-10T09:29:00.813-08:00

I can see you wrote this awhile back, but hopefully it's alright if I go ahead and comment--after all, you're still only about a month in. ;-) How's it going?

I was raised on welfare--mom and I lived in the rural country at first and then in small towns. As a young teen mom, I spent some time of my own on welfare, although in an urban environment. Some years later, I was very briefly street homeless in the city of Seattle. My point in bringing all this up is to explain my statement--I will never be doing this challenge of my own free will. lol! Already been there. I know how to make something from nothing. I know how little food the body actually needs to survive. And by God, as long as I have a little extra for something nice ima go on and enjoy myself--I never take anything for granted.

There was an article in some magazine I had one night at work about a middle class couple doing exactly the same experiment and what they said they got out of it was a new awareness of the waste going on in their home. They feel they're smarter consumers now.

Blessings to you and family! :-)

That is a beautiful prayer and one of great wisdom...

2010-02-15T12:06:48.875-08:00

That is a beautiful prayer and one of great wisdom. =) Thanks for sharing it. =)

Thank you Katy for sharing that with me. Thank yo...

2010-02-10T10:21:48.311-08:00

Thank you Katy for sharing that with me. Thank you.

It would have been so easy for your brother to say "hey why don't you stay with me a while until we can get this fixed." But alas there are pople who will never SEE how easy it is to help someone.

As I finished reading your comment a memory from the past came flooding to the front of my mind and the tears that were already falling became tears of compassion for my parents.

It was a cold rainy night in the late fall of my childhood. I was snuggled in my bed sleeping when I was roused and terrified to find a big chunk of our roof had fallen onto my bed. Allowing the wind and rain inside. My parents rushed to me scooping me up and out of the rubble. My dad patched the ceiling with a piece of plywood that night, then patched the roof as best as he could the next day. I remember being scared to go to bed for awhile after that. I remember Mom making out that i had just had a little adventure. The memory faded for me and being such a small child I really didn't see the danger I had been in. Can you imagine how my Mom and Dad felt, the helplessness they must have felt.

It is that same tin roof I live under today. And if it weren't covered by snow right now I could go outside and see my Dad's tin patch.

My Mom sold me this house for $1 because she loves me. So a home with a leaky roof and more than it's sahre of problems is still full of memories good and bad, but mostly it's full of love. So every night when i climb into bed I am surrounded by the love of my parents. I never looked at it that way before. Thank you because now I do.

@Chickee I read your comment and thought long and...

2010-02-10T09:16:50.300-08:00

@Chickee

I read your comment and thought long and hard about whether or not to share a personal story with you, but first I want to say that I admire your attitude. You are a strong woman and your cheerfulness in the face of adversity always inspires me. I think that the majority of Americans would consider lack of heat and an inadequate roof to be true hardships, yet there are countless Americans who live that way, struggling to stay warm, and I'd venture to say that most of us are only peripherally aware of it at best.

The fact that you share that piece of your story then say that you are aware of your blessings and willing to look at your excess is wonderful! Yet with honesty you say that you want more AND THAT'S OKAY! I want you to have a new roof and an adequate heat too!

ANYWAY, I want to tell you that I can relate to your story. Reading it brought back the years we spent living in a tiny, gutted house that we were remodeling. When I say "remodeling" I don't mean that we were making it more luxurious. We were making it LIVABLE. One winter we had no heat because the oil furnace gave out and we couldn't afford to fix it. There was a gaping hole in the roof because we'd decided to raise it to add a second bedroom but ran out of money to finish the job. We had no furniture beyond a bed that our son shared with us. I remember watching the snow drift into our house and onto our bed... It was SO COLD. We had no toilet, just an outhouse in the backyard, and no kitchen, just a fridge and the water spigot in the bathtub.

My brother who was living in a gorgeous home on acreage in a wealthy community came by and said how we should be grateful for what we had. He didn't offer to help and showed no compassion. I remember wishing that he knew what it felt like to be so poor and have a child, so he could learn compassion and empathy. He said he knew what it was like to struggle as he'd bounced a check once. I was astounded. We bounced checks in order to live back then. Poverty robs people of their dignity and integrity.

The memory is very visceral. It hurts that nobody wanted help except for my dad who owned that house. He bought it so we earn "sweat equity," but eventually I think watching his grandson suffer became too much for him. He established an account at a lumber yard so we could get the supplies we needed. After 4 long years we had a tiny little house that was snug and warm.

People would say how tiny it was, how we must want desperately to move to a nicer place. I honestly didn't get it. We were so GRATEFUL for that house once it was snug and secure. We felt it was a palace. It was that experience that led us to sell everything we own and go work for Habitat for Humanity overseas.

My dad gave us that house, saying he only wanted what he'd put into it back out of it, no profit. Unfortunately, he died before the paperwork was finished & my brother tried to take the house away from us. In the end, we got a fraction of what we should have out of it. His callousness and greed changed me. I don't ever want to be like him.

Like I said, I thought long and hard about whether or not to tell this story, but I think it's an important one. It's not okay to sit snug and warm and surrounded by excess while other people suffer. If that's what excess turns people into, I want no part of it.

Hello Katy, I cannot even begin to imagine the h...

2010-02-10T08:11:28.191-08:00

Hello Katy,
I cannot even begin to imagine the hardships in which some people fight to live daily. I see it but having only my tough times to compare is no comparison. I know there are also other people who think my hardships are unimaginable. But to me they are daily life.

I went through a long period of time where I didn't have heat in my home. To some that alone is unimaginable. I learned to live that way. And I know there are poeople who have no choice at all they don't even have a roof over their heads let alone heat.

I have never taken my home for granted. But I do take much in life for granted and as times are getting tougher I am noticing more and more things that I do and have that I really don't need.

Am I thinking more and watching what I do more closely? Yes I am. Do I still want more? Yes I do. Do I think longer and in more depth about what I do buy? I will admit I am just beginning to.

We all learn to deal with what we have. Sometimes we go into excess and need to reel ourselves in.

Where I am not going nearly as far as you are in your challenge, I am looking more closely. You opened my eyes a bit wider with your first one week challenge, when I realized I had just bought that bottle of water on my way home where I have perfectly good drinking water. There went over a dollar for no reason at all.

But I think my first eye opener was when I was scratching off an instant lotterey ticket and thought I had won $20,000. The first thought that went through my head wasn't party it away or buy a new car (like it would have been even 3 short years ago) It was NEW ROOF, NEW FURNACE. LoL And yep I still occasionally blow a buck on a scratch off ticket. LoL ;) I find them fun and who knows I might get that new roof the easy way someday. (just picking on you there)

Love Ya,
Chickee

@5245669708269300468.0 I HAVE been shaped by my l...

2010-02-08T13:06:58.757-08:00

@5245669708269300468.0

I HAVE been shaped by my life experience, yes. It's what has motivated me to embrace this challenge. I identify with suffering and believe passionately like Gandhi that we need to BE the change we want to see. I probably fail as much as I succeed but I won't stop trying.

I appreciate your honestly in saying that you've experienced hardship, used to be poor, and yet have somehow "forgotten" that when it comes to your daily habits now. I'm happy to have pricked your conscience. :) Thank you for the comment, whoever you are. I understand your desire for anonymity.

You have obviously been shaped by your life experi...

2010-02-08T09:45:22.611-08:00

You have obviously been shaped by your life experiences. Many of us never think to question our 'right' to the American dream, we think we deserve it. We are spoiled and don't know it. I say I care but I'm not willing to do anything as radical as what you're doing. I've lived on food stamps and welfare and I'm not going to leave my name because I'm not proud of it, but I think nothing of going out to dinner or grabbing take-out now. It's not like I'm sitting in a restaurant thinking, Jesus, I used to be poor. I just order my food and eat. I will try to pay more attention to what I'm doing. You've pricked my conscience.

@kdgator I do not feel a need to justify my inten...

2010-02-08T09:04:29.635-08:00

@kdgator

I do not feel a need to justify my intent with this blog series as I don't think one needs to have experienced need to want to help those who have. That being said, I will clarify that we lived with the people we served, not apart from them, eating what they ate, carrying water, working in the bush gardens to gather our food. We had no medical services beyond what was available to those we served.

Also, as I mentioned in the blog, my husband and I live with the reality of poverty in America as we have adopted children who were hospitalized for starvation and dehydration prior to joining our family.

I could delve further into the past, into what I have experienced apart from the needs of others, but I feel I have already drifted too far away from the focus and intent of this blog, which is not about me. It's about living simpler and more thoughtful lives.

LOL, Nic, Imma skip right over the fact that your ...

2010-02-08T08:15:00.063-08:00

LOL, Nic, Imma skip right over the fact that your writing is atrocious! (Okay, I didn't quite skip, I tripped) ;)

I know that your budget is tight and that we didn't prepare you for very well for living frugally. You don't remember when you were little and we had nothing, and you were happy in Papua New Guinea because you could climb a star fruit tree and eat to your hearts content. If you think about it, however, we had no meat or dairy products beyond that awful powdered milk that was shipped over because the nation of Australia rejected it! lol

Come over when you can (sorry we missed your call on Monday) and we'll make some basic soups or stews and I'll show you how to make unleavened biscuits for pennies.

♥ Mom

Lol. I like it that I make it into your blogs some...

2010-02-08T08:13:20.153-08:00

Lol. I like it that I make it into your blogs sometimes but I'm here to say it's all true. My family usually has food, good food, and it's a surprise to see how empty the cupboards really are at home. My mom is really making the most of everything they have there, even dehydrated milk (I gag thinking about it). But I must say it is inspiring, sometimes I have to go a month on $130 alone for food but now that I think about it, I should make it easily XD. Anywho HI! Love you mom!

P.S. I apologize sadly my moms talent for writing and sentence structure was not passed down to me. instead I inherited my fathers woe is me :p

@2312591054043738754.0 JC - I appreciate your t...

2010-02-04T05:29:06.045-08:00

@2312591054043738754.0

JC -

I appreciate your thoughtful comment. I wish I had seen it prior to deleting my original response to Kev and note to my readers. I did so because I wanted to make a more succinct response and felt the conversation was detracting from the purpose and message of my blog.

As I noted in my original comment, the fact that I have adopted special needs children, born in America, who were hospitalized for starvation as infants and toddlers makes it rather difficult for me to forget that some people have nothing.

Many people would be grateful to have a paycheck by which to live, one after the other. I think most Americans have experienced that level of moderate need. In fact, many would define that as "plenty."

But, yes, let's get back to the message.

Kate, You are right that you do not need to ju...

2010-02-04T05:00:07.965-08:00

Kate,
You are right that you do not need to justify your intent with this blog, but the defense you put forward adds several layers of depth and emotion, building a framework for what is to follow. This defense more fully establishes your credibility.

Now that we have established you are a worthy messenger, let's get back to the message.

jc

Hey Katy, I think this is a first. I don't agree w...

2010-02-03T21:10:35.983-08:00

Hey Katy, I think this is a first. I don't agree with all of your blog. Or maybe this is just the first time I have ever felt so strongly about it really to say something.

First the positive: What you are doing is good, not focusing on material things. It's true, "stuff" does not make us who we are. But what you said about forgetting hardship...

I will, and can NEVER forget when I struggled week to week, paycheck-to-paycheck. (roughly between 1987 to 1998) Most times all I had in my wallet was my bus pass and my ID. I had lost everything due to youthful reckless spending and partying. Yes, my fault, and I own up to that. I had to move in with my mom, and she was on SSI, which meant my mom, the once proud and semi-affluent teacher, was living below the poverty level. Put together, we still fell under the the poverty level, but hey, we made too much for any government assistance. Isn't that a kick?!?

But I made it, and today I have a good job, good life... Yes, Life is good. But I always have those hard times in the back of my mind. They shaped me, I think, into a better person. They made me kinder, gentler, more understanding of those in need and I dare say, helped me become more generous with what I have when I have extra. When I encounter the homeless, I do not see them as panhandlers. I see them as possibly Angels in disguise, because I was once right where they are.

You speak of the volunteer work you did and how you saw people with hardships. Now, I could be wrong, but didn't your volunteer organization meet your needs? Did you just witness the hardship, or did you live it? I am NOT taking away any from your good work - not one bit. But having lived paycheck to paycheck and not knowing if I even had enough for groceries, let alone any kind of luxury (such as a pizza), I can see where a person could read this and think you are playing. Especially if they are having a rough time.

Perception, KJ, it's all perception. No I don't think you should "apologize for encouraging people to make do with LESS so they have more to GIVE." And you have made it clear that your experiences of making do with less are NOT games. To you, this IS important. But Katy Jo, just remember that there are people out there that don't have anything to make less of with.

I guess my boss was right. He commented once that I rarely speak up but when I do it is about something I feel passionate about. I will return to my short comments but I just had to say this.

I am going to bed. After midnight here. :) Good night KJ!

@6867604882394025359.0 Jay, It actually seems li...

2010-02-03T20:39:04.101-08:00

@6867604882394025359.0

Jay, It actually seems like YESTERDAY. I can't believe it's been that long ago.

I absolutely love the benediction. It's beautiful. I'm going to copy it and put it on the bulletin board next to my desk where I can see it often. :)

You're right, it's been a busy life. I don't feel middle aged. Where did the time go, my friend?

I love that picture of you from 1986. Does it rea...

2010-02-03T19:57:34.793-08:00

I love that picture of you from 1986. Does it really seem like 24 years ago?!! It always amazes me at all the life you've lived in your young life! Here is a Franciscan Benediction that seems to fit who you are:

May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and the exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn
their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
Amen.
Jay

@LYD Hello, lovely Lyd. :) I think we accumul...

2010-02-03T17:48:09.406-08:00

@LYD

Hello, lovely Lyd. :)

I think we accumulate rather thoughtlessly because it's a part of our culture. If we take the time to really think about how we're living and spending we can do and be better. :)

I love your last two sentences. Amen and amen. ♥

Katy, This is a beautiful message. I agree wholeh...

2010-02-03T17:42:08.833-08:00

Katy,
This is a beautiful message. I agree wholeheartedly.

You have been through much, have seen much and anyone who has read U before would know where your heart is in this issue. Its all good. :)

More stuff...big deal. Live with less and be happier. We've been living this for a while now. Trying not to accumulate... For example, instead of going away to a huge vacation, we opt for a day away and we make it about being loving to each other, and we still have an amazing time, sans the costly luxuries.

Life is too short to weight yourself down with meaningles things. Collect joy instead.

xoxoxox

@321813226666781884.0 Thank you for the encourage...

2010-02-03T17:39:03.360-08:00

@321813226666781884.0

Thank you for the encouragement and letting me know you were here. :)

@Drew Wow, You were REALLY in the country! I gre...

2010-02-03T07:53:24.622-08:00

@Drew

Wow, You were REALLY in the country! I grew up around my grandparents farm and always lived in the country, but it was never that rustic. :) My dad used to make me hang clothes on the line even when it was FREEZING outside so we'd have frozen underwear and such strung out behind the house until it warmed up (I still don't get that), and we weren't allowed to use the heat pump for heat or A/C. We had a woodstove to heat the entire house, cook on, and supply our hot water (he rigged it up so pipes looped inside of it) which lasted about three minutes, maybe. Showers were QUICK in our home. And I grew up on what he called "Mulligan stew" which was basically whatever could be scrounged up and thrown in a pot on the woodstove.

He once said I would never make it in the jungle but he was VERY WRONG. I have always done well with little, thanks to his early training.

Thanks, Drew. By the way, if we ever played cards I WOULD cheat but you WOULD NOT catch me. ;D

@5522335670948874678.0 I was fortunate enough to ...

2010-02-02T22:42:13.271-08:00

@5522335670948874678.0

I was fortunate enough to have spent every summer of my childhood in the country. We had no a/c, no phone, no radio, no tv, just running water, gas and electricity. We had to figure out how to entertain ourselves and enjoy the day with little to no entertainment. It was great for me. I appreciate the simplicity so much now. I am grateful that I had that experience.

When you are in a city, basically in an urban neighborhood, it is easy to get caught up in keeping up with the Jones'. I am in that situation, but I refuse to be that type of person, so I am sure I am not the favored son of the neighborhood. hahaha....

It warms my heart to see you say that I get you. We have not always had the most connected eye-to-eye communication, but I have felt for a long time that I get you. You mean so much to me. I value who you are in a big way.

That is a big reason why I have been so persistent in wanting to stay in touch of you and refused to just let you go. I really do hope for and wish that one day we can play cards together in person while I spend the entire time trying to catch you cheating. lol.... ;-P

Kate, you're a good writer, and a provocative thin...

2010-02-02T18:04:09.528-08:00

Kate, you're a good writer, and a provocative thinker. I love the direction of your latest thought-provoking Blogs. So many lives have been changed in the past few years, and people need these kind of Blogs right now.

Keep up the great work.

@Drew It makes sense, Drew. We operate on feelin...

2010-02-02T17:03:08.297-08:00

@Drew

It makes sense, Drew. We operate on feelings when we're growing up because we don't have enough knowledge or experience to identify exactly what it is that we want or need. As we get older we can articulate our feelings so much better. We can look back and say AHA, THAT'S what was going on back then. :)

@Drew The child's perspective is critical! We pa...

2010-02-02T17:00:13.158-08:00

@Drew

The child's perspective is critical! We parents often forget what it was like to be a child because we're so busy organizing and managing and taking care of!

I know that my dad did a much better job than his father did. I know it was important to him to take vacations with his family, set a good example by working hard and being a good provider, etc. and he did those things when we were young, before my mom got sick. We went on family trips in his ever changing fleet of odd RVs and we did stuff together. For whatever reason, he found it hard to love me - or to express love for me, if he felt it - but I know he did the best that he could. I absolutely KNOW that. And I think he would be happy to know that I'm doing okay, that I love my children and THEY KNOW I LOVE THEM. I feel good about that.

@Chickee Christina, I'm so glad I found this comm...

2010-02-02T16:54:01.537-08:00

@Chickee

Christina, I'm so glad I found this comment. What you've said is beautiful and true. Knowing one is loved makes all the difference in the world!!

xoxo

@Drew The order doesn't matter, I love reading yo...

2010-02-02T16:52:19.033-08:00

@Drew

The order doesn't matter, I love reading your comments. :)